7 things you should not say to someone with depression – Seyi

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where your good intentions were misinterpreted and what was said and done with good intention was misconstrued and totally achieved the opposite of the results intended?

This often happens to good people with good heart who have no inkling of what it means for someone to be living with mental health issues or illnesses.

I have on many occasions wondered why my counsels and words of inspiration often meet brick walls when interacting with my friends whom I believe have this challenges until out of curiosity I discovered the truth around the challenge: what you must never say to a person with depression.

People with mental health issues fear to talk about their status for the fear of engaging in an interaction shaped by other person’s personal prejudices or ideas about what a person with depression is.

Depression doesn’t just happen to those who lost their jobs, family or had diseases like cancer. t doesn’t only happen to those who have experienced traumatic conditions neither is it exclusively demonic possession. There is more to depression than meets the eyes. Creating awareness in this area of interest would help a great deal in sharpening our capacity to deal appropriately in our interactive moments around people with depression.

7 things you should not say to someone with depression

1. I want to see you cheer up

People with depression really wish they could cheer up as you do but it is not a simple task. So asking them to cheer up is denying their pains and trivializing their conditions.

Instead, why don’t you say:

I am sorry you are not feeling well. s there anything I can do to help?

2. It’s all in your head

When you say this, you dismiss the seriousness of depression as something that can be fixed just by changing their thinking habit.

Instead, why don’t you say:

I will try my best to understand.

3. No one ever said life was fair

Interestingly, they already know what you are talking about reminding them will not help in coping with the challenges they are already going through.

Instead, why don’t you say:

I can see that you are battling this challenge, and I am proud of you for pushing through.

4. A lot of people have it worse than you.

This statement mostly comes with good intention but the story is not the same for the hearers with depression. It makes them feel ashamed of their feeling.

Instead, why don’t you say:

What you are going through is real and you should not feel bad about it.

5. It’s a beautiful day.

There are utterances made to people with depression that actually implies that you are ignoring their situation rather than showing concern. that feels like a beautiful day to you could be a much different picture for someone with depression.

Instead, say:

Can I come and keep you company?

6. You should get out more

At times telling people with depression what they need, to feel better might not prove as productive as we desire. experts advise the ”should” statement be avoided. It is true that isolating yourself can increase your risk of feeling depressed, but everyone has their own way of dealing with depression what works for one may be harmful to others.

Instead, why not say:

Can we take a walk together?

7. Why don’t you smile more

This statement might come across differently to someone with depression as assumptive. Finding energy to smile while hurting inside can be an exhausting and damaging task for someone with depression. They may be going through difficulties you are not aware of.

Instead why not say:

Your feelings are valid and…

 

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